She walked into the fellowship hall and was surprised by the rainbow of balloons, sprinkle décor, and cupcakes. Her husband had arrived a little earlier and knew that tonight’s speaker meeting at the church was going to be different.

First Recovery, the community that has developed at First United Methodist Church in Oak Ridge, Tennessee over the past several years hosted a surprise baby party for Matt and Melinda Holder, leaders in the church and in the recovery community. They are expecting their second son any day.

At the party, there was laughter, the wide-eyes of newcomers unfamiliar with the fun of recovery (we are not a glum lot), and tears. The common range of emotions on Wednesday nights at this small town in the foothills of Eastern Tennessee.

Instead of a traditional speaker, the community invited shares of gratitude. Popcorn-style proclamations of thanks peppered the fellowship hall. People spoke of gratitude for their second chances, for the people who have impacted them, for the room they gathered in that night. More than one person talked about the impact of First Recovery and how the reason they are here, the reason they are alive, is because of the support they have received by the people in the church.

Melinda Holder shared something that has stuck with me: “In recovery, we find family.”

It made me think about the fact that many of us do not come from healthy households. Maybe our loved ones struggle with their own substance use challenges or they cannot show up in the way we need them to for other reasons. Maybe our own journey has taken us far away from where we grew up. Maybe our loved ones do not understand what recovery is or how to support us. Whatever the reason, in recovery, sometimes we need new family.

Psalm 68:6 says this: God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing…

It is one of my favorite passages of scripture because so many of us find this to be true. When we feel the most alone, scared, tired, and ready for a new way to live, God shows up and brings people in our lives who support us and love us in the way we need. In recovery, we are welcomed into a new family. With open arms, we experience (sometimes for the first time), a you belong here, a you are welcome here.

Author Henri Nouwen shares that: The home, the intimate place, the place of true belonging, is, therefore, not a place made by human hands. It is fashioned for us by God, who came to pitch his tent among us, invite us to his place, and prepare a room for us in his own house. 

There are many churches that cause immense harm, trauma, and perpetuate stigma. But First Recovery and the activities of First United Methodist Church in Oak Ridge remind us that there are faith-based spaces that do provide support. An open door, not a closed fist. A welcome in and not a stay out.

Not only does this ministry provide meetings, housing scholarships, employment help, basic needs assistance, food, and volunteer opportunities for the folks it serves, it was also a site of the Mobilize Recovery 2024 Bus Tour. On a warm and sunny fall day, national advocates and American Idol Winner - Noah Thompson came to celebrate recovery and honor the faith-based recovery pathway that is shared within and outside of its doors.

A woman served by the program recently shared that “y’all are more like Jesus than any church I’ve ever been to in my life!!!”

If you walk into First Recovery on a Wednesday night, you first walk by the Overdose Aid Kit box in the hallway that contains life-saving opioid overdose reversal medication and fentanyl testing strips. You will be welcomed by Judy by the coffee who passes out sugary treats and gives big, welcoming hugs, and who says “I love you” without reservation.

You will see Dan, a decades-long church member who admits that while he doesn’t identify with being in recovery himself, he identifies with a community that is so loving and has such a strong sense of comradery. And Susan and Shawn, sitting in the pews along the wall, tearing up and nodding with compassion as stories are shared.

You will hear Heather’s contagious laugh and see her bright eyes.

You will hear Matt’s gentle welcome and prayer and perhaps notice baby Hinton smile at the folks sitting in the row behind him, bouncing on Melinda’s knee.

You will see people from nearby treatment programs and sober living houses and people from nearby towns who know why they keep coming back and that is because they have found connection.

If you show up on a Wednesday night, you might find us celebrating a recovery milestone, a baby on the way, or honest sharing and conversation about the challenges of our journeys and the joys of recovery. No matter what we are up to on a given night in Oak Ridge, Tennessee, I can guarantee that you will find a place of true belonging.

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Caroline Beidler, MSW is an author and recovery advocate whose newsletter, Circle of Chairs, events, resources, and books aim to reduce stigma, share a message of hope, and support people in or seeking recovery.